1 Week

I can't believe it has already been a whole week since this little fella came into our lives. And I still can't believe how much I love him! I just want to stare at those beautiful eyes all day. We took him to his first doctor's appointment yesterday and he has already made up his birth weight and more- he was 9 lbs. even. We love his chunkiness and because he is so healthy the doctor said we could let him sleep longer at nite if he wants to. This is great news because so far I've been waking him up to nurse, but now I'll just let him sleep and not worry about it.

In Winston's first week we've managed to figure out nursing (at home at least), gone for our first walk in the park, and spent lots of time staring at each other and bonding. And as a bonus, Tyler's been able to be at home with us and I love watching him become a dad. He doesn't love diaper changes (and let's face it, I'm ten times better at it than he is), but it makes me smile when he peeks into Winston's bedroom ever single time he walks down the hall. So adorable!

Winston Lowe Turner

Our little fella is finally here!! He was born at 3:25am on June 20th, weighed 8 lbs. 1 oz. and is 21.5 inches long. Long story short, he came fast. I felt the first painful contraction at about 10:40pm and started timing contractions at 11pm. By 11:30 I was ready to go already, so we packed up a few things and left for the hospital around midnite. I got checked in at 12:30am and at 3:25am he was here!

Things to note about the delivery/recovery:

• I may have accidentally locked the car keys in the car when Tyler was dropping me off at the emergency room, leaving him stranded in the emergency drop-off lane for 30 minutes while he waited for Triple A, and while I got checked in and got an IV. Keep in mind I was mid-contraction when the incident happened, so it's not really my fault :)
• The most intense pain I have ever felt and the hardest thing I have ever had to do was sit still through several hard contractions while the epidural was administered. Up until that point I was handling the contractions okay as long as I could move through them (i.e. walk, sway, massage my lower back, etc.), but for about 10 minutes I had to sit as still as possible and getting through the contractions became a mental game. The nurse gave me oxygen to prevent me from passing out (I warned her early that I faint easily) and then it was all about breathing slowly and squeezing Tyler's hand as hard as I could. I'm still pretty impressed with myself for getting through it, and I only started to cry once for a split second before I held back because I knew it wouldn't help.
• The actual pushing and delivery were much less dramatic than I anticipated. It may have been because I had the epidural, but I pushed for less than 20 minutes and though it was tiring, the atmosphere was surprisingly relaxed.

  

  New daddy

• Every time the doctor told me to push, Tyler tightened all his muscles and squeezed my leg and foot as hard as he could! Haha, I didn't notice, but he said he kept catching himself doing that and reminding himself to just breath and relax :) He's just so supportive!!
• Holding your baby for the first time is incredibly surreal. I was overcome with emotion when they first put him on my chest, but it was still hard to believe that he was ours. Every time I look at him or hold him I feel more like his mother and I love him sooooo much!!!
• Second most painful thing of the nite? Having the epidural tape stripped from my back. My back stung for a whole day and I never even noticed the epidural being there or being removed.
• I knew certain parts of me would be sore, but I didn't realize how sore my chest would be and that my arms would also be sore (from the IV and vaccinations mama gets) and that my back would be sore (mostly from the tape removal).
• I sometimes can't decide if I like holding Winston more, or if I like seeing his dad hold him more. When I'm holding him I'm in love with him, but I feel a little selfish so I pass him off to his dad, but then I'm so jealous of their cuteness and I'm even more in love with Tyler that it is all just so hard!!

Things we LOVE about Winston:

• He's perfect! I cannot believe how much I love him!
• He never cries! He squeaks a little bit when he's uncomfortable and he makes the sweetest little humming sound when he's looking for food, but I only heard him cry when the nurse smacked him right after he came out. He didn't even cry during the circumcision or when his frenulum (tissue under the tongue) was clipped.

  

  New mama

• When he's awake, he's awake. He has big dark eyes and he likes to just look around at everything. 
• His squishy, soft, wrinkly skin. (Mama's fav)
• His shnuggles- I don't even need to train him :)
• His puppy dreams- he makes lots of little faces and squeaks when he sleeps. (Daddy's fav)
• His dark hair and pink complexion.
• When he stretches and yawns really big. (Daddy's fav)
• His smiles.
• Looking down at him while he nurses. This is a view reserved only for mama and it is the best! I just can't stop staring at him cause he is just so cute and perfect and I have a hard time putting him down to sleep afterwards cause I just want to keep him there forever. (Mama's fav)
• Everything! Like I said, he is just so perfect!!

40 Weeks.... and still pregnant

 

4 weeks

 

40 weeks

Another week has passed and our little fella is still hanging in there- I really need to be less hospitable next time around. I've still been nice and comfortable (don't know if that's a bad sign as far as getting this labor moving), but it's pretty incredible how much movement I feel like I've lost just in this last week. Suddenly getting in and out of the car is a lengthy process and Tyler has become my official shoe tie-er. According to the doctor the babe is measuring just over seven pounds right now, but when I try to open the bottom drawer he feels more like a 12-pounder. I'm hoping we've taken the final pre-baby photo and I thought I'd compare to the photo we took of me at four weeks; when I found out we were expecting. It's hard for me to imagine life without this basketball on me, but I'm also sooo excited to have a whole new wardrobe again! I don't think I've ever been so excited to wear my own clothes before. Hopefully my next post will have lots of photos of a little squishy babe!! Cross your fingers :)

The Waiting Game

The other day I asked Tyler, "Is it weird that I'm excited to be in the most intense pain of my life?"

"Yes."

Well, it may be weird, but it's true. I was thinking about this waiting game all weekend, as I was just sitting around waiting, and it struck me that I'm actually pretty bummed out that I'm not in more pain right now. I'm also a little disappointed that I haven't "wet" my pants today. And I'm really looking forward to having a large needle stuck into my spine.

For me, it's not even that I'm very uncomfortable. In fact, I still feel great and I'm still able to do most things I was able to do before having a watermelon stuck to the front of me (although there is that one skinny closet that I can no longer squeeze into), but I'm just so anxious and ready for this little gent to make his grand appearance that I spend half my day dreaming about standing awkwardly in a pool of amniotic fluid somewhere ridiculous- like a grocery store aisle. I don't even think I would have time to be embarrassed because I would be so excited! Just as long as Tyler isn't around, because there are so many things about that situation that he would not be okay with :)

I've been really excited about things before- getting married, Christmas morning, going to London, etc., but I feel like it's an entirely different excitement when what you can't wait for is possibly excruciating pain, awkward pants wetting, and large needles. But I just can't wait!! I'm so excited and nothing is distracting enough for me right now.

Anyways, I'm off to go eat some pineapple. Or do some stairs. Or heavy lifting. Or maybe eat a jalapeno. Wish me luck!

32 Weeks

This past week I hit my 32 weeks mark which means I am officially 8 months pregnant and have only 8 weeks left to prepare for this little fella. I've suddenly realized how much Tyler and I still need to do to get ready, or, really, how much we still need to buy! I'm trying not to freak out just yet, but suddenly this pregnancy that has been taking its sweet time is now sprinting toward the finish line and I'm feeling less and less ready everyday. I think a big part of it is that it suddenly dawned on me that in 8 weeks or less it will no longer just be Tyler and I and I already know I'm going to miss just being us soooo much! We're planning on squeezing in some amazing quality time together, but things will never be the same after little man comes and that's a little sad.

Still, I can't wait to meet my babe (face to face I mean, because we chat and play tag all the time these days) and with just about everyone I know having babies or being pregnant right now I definitely have baby-fever. I know I haven't written too much about my pregnancy on here, largely due to the fact that I've had it really easy and there is never too much to report, but I wanted to jot down a few things I've learned/enjoyed/discovered since last October. Surprisingly, most of what I've learned is about myself and not about the baby.

1. Tyler is the best husband ever!!! And I know he'll be the best daddy ever too! Everyone has told me that you never realize just how much you can love until you have a baby, but I wasn't prepared for how much more I would love my husband too. I constantly feel like I'm bursting with joy when I'm around him and I honestly think he is just about perfect. It's like I don't even notice the cereal bowls left on the counter and not in the dishwasher every morning now. If only this dang belly didn't make it so hard to shnuggle!

2. Showers are the best! For some reason, practically since the day I found out I was pregnant, I have felt like I need a shower all the time! Sometimes more than once a day I feel like taking a quick shower. As I've gotten bigger, I've discovered that one reason for this may be that I always feel thinner after I shower. Yes, I sometimes think the shower washes away a few pounds and I know that's ridiculous, but I'll take it :)

3.  Even though Tyler thinks it is a little gross, I can't get enough of these baby kicks, rolls, head-butts, flips, booty-tooches, etc. I think the babe's movements play a huge role in the mother-baby bond because I feel like I already know his personality a little bit from all of his athletic feats in there.

4. No matter how vain it sounds, I love it when people tell me how good/happy/healthy I look or seem. I know it's for a good cause, the best cause actually, but gaining a lot of weight in a short period of time is still hard physically and mentally and compliments can often change my entire day or week! So thank you everyone who has given me one and feel free to keep sending happy thoughts my way :)

5. I have a new and better appreciation for my body than ever before. First of all, it's creating a human life as we speak. Talk about multi-tasking :) Second, it has been pretty amazing to me how much a little walk makes a difference in how I feel. My body knows it needs to be prepared for labor and when I keep moving, whether it's walking, running (pre-third trimester), swimming, yoga or cruising on my bike, I feel better and more prepared mentally and physically. I also really enjoy more fruits and vegetables in my diet, as I'm sure little man does. For instance, I cannot seem to get enough watermelon or grapefruit these days- both fruits I've previously enjoyed, but now I'm obsessed! And milk! I've never had so much milk in my life and it does a body good!

6. It's okay to be tired. I have a hard time sleeping in and a hard time going to bed too early, because I feel as if I might miss out on something or that I'm not maximizing my time. However, my body is creating a child and it's hard work, which means more sleep is good. Plus, I hear I'll never have time to sleep once that babe is here, so I've learned to just rest/sleep when I need to and not feel guilty about it.

7. I have always been a little stress-prone, especially when it comes to big changes, but since becoming pregnant I have really come to realize that stressing about something never helps the situation. I have to apologize to Tyler, who has been telling me this for over three and half years now, and I promise not to ignore your advice anymore :) I've really learned to rely on my Savior and my friends and family for support when things start to overwhelm me, and I've found myself much more calm and relaxed than I could have possibly imagined myself. I am much more aware of my emotions because I know my baby can feel what I'm feeling and I really don't want to stress him out, so I've learned to just take a deep breath and think things through slowly to avoid the hyper-ventilating panic that used to be so normal for me. I think Tyler is especially grateful for this breakthrough, as he was not-so-secretly anticipating a crazed banshee to take my place for nine months :) I just like to surprise him every once in a while.

8. Everyone has very strong opinions and lots of advice about pregnancy and motherhood - some of it is weird and useless (like my neighbor telling me it would be really, really bad if I had a Gemini baby and to avoid that at all costs... what?!), and some of it is gold (like my sister reminding me over and over again that some things you will just figure out on your own no matter how much you prepare). I have developed my own opinions and have lots of advice for new mothers already, but I have really come to appreciate the subtle advice from others. I tend to ignore people who present their opinions as fact and I want more from those who present their opinions simply as a possible method that worked for them. I'm sure I still have a lot to learn, but I'm becoming more and more aware that my sister's advice is the best so far and most things I will just have to figure out on my own despite the number of books I've read or doctor's I've consulted.

9. I am learning, very slowly, that it is okay to be vulnerable and to not always be 'pretty', 'feminine', or 'perfect' around my husband. After over three and half years of marriage, I still get pretty embarrassed in front of Tyler at least once a week. But those moments are slowly decreasing and I'm figuring out that he isn't going to suddenly think I'm hideous, gross, stupid or an awful person and stop loving me for some silly little thing. In fact, I think he is completely oblivious most of the time when I'm embarrassed. So, it's okay that I don't always have perfect manners at the table when we go out to eat or that I pretty much ignore all make-up, fashion and hair products during the week when all I do is go sit in an office by myself and then go workout. I like that he motivates me to be my best self, but it's nice to have some of the pressure off at times too.

10. I love being pregnant!! I feel powerful, calm, humble, useful, special, pretty, important and lots of other really good things. I feel bad when I have friends and family who are pregnant and feeling sick or useless or fat, because I am really enjoying myself. I wish I could be more sympathetic to you, but even as I'm writing this post and trying to think of anything negative I've discovered or learned, I'm just not coming up with anything. Pregnancy has been great for me and I am sooo happy to have this opportunity/responsibility. I definitely didn't expect this and I know not every pregnancy I have will be this great (I'm sure chasing a toddler around while being 8 months pregnant has its drawbacks), but for now I am just happy to be fat and healthy and sooo grateful I've been able to enjoy this sacred experience. Of course, after the delivery I might have a few not so happy things to share, but that hasn't happened yet :)

11. I am sooo grateful for the gospel in my life!! I don't know how people survive without it. Several times throughout my pregnancy Tyler has reminded me that if I miscarry, if the baby has health/mental problems, if we lose the baby in delivery, etc. we will be just fine. I know he is partially telling me this to voice his own concerns, but it has really helped me appreciate the knowledge of eternal families and salvation. Yes, all of those things would be sad, but we would be just fine because our baby would be safe and probably doing much more important things elsewhere.

Not only that, but without the support and friendship of our ward members, things would be much harder. Our callings have kept us busy and can be tiring, but at the same time I feel like they have been very important in our preparation, and the opportunity to serve in a variety of capacities has helped me appreciate families so much more.

In addition, I have personally relied much more heavily on my Savior through prayer over the past eight months. I think every pregnant woman in the church can attest to the fact that even a simple blessing on your food takes on a whole new meaning while pregnant, sick or not. And I have been constantly comforted and uplifted throughout this whole experience, which I know is a result of having the companionship of the Spirit. Listening to General Conference and reading my scriptures have also helped me trust in myself as I prepare to take on the responsibility of parenthood.

I love this gospel, I know it’s true, and I can’t wait to start my eternal family here on earth!!

I’m sooooo excited!!!

Larger than Life

Tyler and I spent all weekend enjoying General Conference- an event that could not have come at a better time for me. The last couple of weeks have been a little hectic and it seemed like we had plans every single nite, so I was really looking forward to an entire weekend shnuggled up at home watching conference. And, of course, it did not disappoint!!

The week prior to conference Tyler bought our first ever TV. Anyone who knows Tyler will know that surviving 3.5+ years with no TV is really amazing and I guess he deserves to have one now- just in time for the playoffs too. Tyler actually bought it because there was some amazing special on TV's at Wal-mart and so we got a huge TV for a very small price. I'm not gonna lie, it kind of over takes our tiny apartment at the moment, so when we move we'll have to find a way to make it a little less conspicuous. But Tyler's pretty proud of himself for waiting so long and then only succombing to a steal-of-a-deal.

I guess you can compare the screen to the keyboard for size. Conference is one of the first things we watched on it and it was awesome :)

Happy St. Patrick's Day!

The leprechauns colored our waffles and eggs green this morning, but they forgot to leave us some gold coins.... whoops! Next time little guys.

I also thought it was the perfect day to debut my new green jeans. They're still a little big on me, but word on the street is the babe in my tummy is still growing :)

28 Weeks

The Nose Job

Tyler had his nose surgery just over a week ago. For those of you who don't know, Tyler fractured his nose in three different places while playing basketball on his mission and although it caused him to have a deviated septum and a crooked nose, he never fixed it. Then about a month and a half ago he re-broke his nose while playing basketball again. This time his nose was significantly more crooked and it seemed to collapse on one side when he breathed in hard.

He decided to check it out and the doctor confirmed that his nose was way messed up, meaning that the valves inside his nose were indeed collapsing, the cartilage at the end of his nose was barley hanging on and providing no structural support, and the fractured bones at the top had grown back all weirdy and were further blocking air. Obviously he needed to do something about it, especially because the lack of air flow made him sound like a dentist's drill while he slept and I did not care for that. Hence, the nose job.

The surgery took nearly five hours and the doctor said he was tested to the limit (it took him almost an hour just to get into the right side of Tyler's nose to then start the work), but there were no major complications and the nose is fixed!!

So, here is the rundown of everything the doctor did (that I can remember):

• Re-broke the bones at the top and then set them straight
• Shaved the extra bone down, giving Tyler a slightly more narrow nose
  
• Straightened the septum
• Took some cartilage from the back of Tyler's right ear to rebuild the end of the nose in order for the valves to open back up
• Removed some turbinates, which should help Tyler's allergies
• Brought up the tip of Tyler's nose, which had drooped because of the weak cartilage, to make it straight
• Clipped the small muscle attaching his upper lip to his nose- it was pulling his nose down and doesn't need to be attached anyways
  

I think those are all the major points. I don't know how well you know Tyler's nose, but for someone who stares at his face several times a day I can tell that it is a little thinner, straighter and the tip is raised. None of the changes to the outside are drastic though, as it was a legitimate nose surgery for function and not just a cosmetic nose job.

Here are some progression photos from Tyler's recovery, starting with right after he left the hospital and ending with right after the hard cast was removed.

Do you think he looks different?

As you can tell, bandages came off slowly ending with the hard cast and plastic splints inside his nose. He didn't need a lot of pain medication, but definitely got uncomfortable after spending so much time on his back- he says he now sympathizes with infants and their flat, bald patches cause they're always lying down. His feet bothered him the first two days because they were so swollen from the IV, but other than a little pressure under the cast, his nose and ear were fine. Tyler was super irritated by his swollen uvula, which was literally sitting on the back of his tongue, though. You should know that it was only swollen because Tyler woke up from the anesthesia a little soon and, as the doctor put it, "he came out swinging!" Apparently in the confusion he tried to rip a tube out of his throat and then had to deal with a fat uvula because of it.

It has only been a week, but the swelling and bruising has almost disappeared from his face and ear. The doctor told us it should be completely gone (including the stitches behind his ear) by the end of three weeks. The actual bone and new cartilage won't completly settle for 8-12 months, but you shouldn't be able to tell. Tyler is now enjoying breathing like a normal person and is currently searching for a Kobe-esque face mask so he can return to the court ASAP.

P.S. Two days after the surgery we met with the doctor to remove the packing inside of Tyler's nose. The packing had been inserted from the nostril all the way back to the end of his nasal sinus by the ear and Tyler said removing it gave him the sensation that someone was pulling out his brain through his nose. After the packing was out, the doctor suctioned out the extra blood and fluids with a teeny, tiny vacuum that reached all the way back to ear as well. As you can imagine, it didn't feel awesome and caused Tyler to cough a lot. After the last suctioning Tyler started coughing so much that he threw up a pool of blood and one of the plastic splints from his nose. Yes, a big piece of plastic went back through his nose, down his throat and out his mouth. Awesome.

P.P.S. A small, funny story from the ordeal- Shortly after Tyler was wheeled to the recovery room he felt like he had to burp, but couldn't. He kept complaining about it, but the nurse and I didn't really know what to tell him. Eventually the nurse asked him to sit up so we could dress him, and when he did he started to burp, a lot. I guess your nose kind of acts like a valve when you swallow to release excess air, but when your nose is full of packing you just swallow the air and then burp a lot later. Anyways, as he sat there burping he kept saying, "Oh that feels so good... oh yeah!" really, really loud, because he had turban bandages all over his ears and couldn't hear. The two, young female nursing students, who had been getting him water and ice, just stood there awkwardly while I politely told him he was talking too loud. Soooo embarrasing!! It's a good thing I love him and he was still a little out of it :)

24 Weeks - I'm an avocado

This past week I have been eating a lot of avocado and every time I do Tyler scrunches up his face at me as if to say "gross!" I keep telling him that avocado is "healthy fat" for me and the baby.

Saturday morning I discovered that my favorite pair of shorts no longer fit around my baby bump, and I was a little disappointed- no one likes being too fat to fit their favorite clothes no matter the reason. But Tyler, in an effort to cheer me up said, "It's okay, cause it's healthy fat... (pause) ...you're an avocado!" He has been affectionately calling me his little avocado ever since. And, luckily, he likes this avocado :)

Colorado Re-cap

Tyler and I spent a couple days in Denver prior to the annual Turner ski trip in Aspen. While we were there we stayed at my best friend Monica's parent's home in Aurora and were lucky enough to get 19 inches of snow!! I say lucky, though Tyler might tell you something different since we did have to shovel a driveway for the first time ever. But, it was so so so beautiful and I could've sat by the window all day watching it! Everything looks better covered in some sparkly white snow if you ask me!

Pretty snowfall in front of the Fiala's house.

Evergreen trees and fences laden with lots of fluffy snow!

We also had the opportunity to drive out to Greeley, CO, which is where I was born and spent the first 11 years of my life before moving to Hawaii. I hadn't been back since we moved and it was fun to see what has changed and what is still the same.

The bell tower at my elementary school.

Our old church building- it was exactly as I remembered it, inside and out!

Our old home- a few trees, some kids, and some toys were definitely missing.

The "big" bridge at Epple Park (down the street from our old house). Somehow almost everything was much smaller than I'd remembered.

We also stopped by the temple to take a few pictures- sooo pretty!!

After our fun in Denver we headed over to Aspen to meet up with Tyler's family for ski week. I, of course, did not ski this year, but took the time to enjoy some more snowy weather. Unfortunately, the week ended with a bad stomach flu, so hopefully things go a little better next year.

This is the only photo I took while in Snowmass/Aspen. Our main camera lens was in the shop, so all I had was our mega zoom lens and it was too hard trying to get photos when I had to back up like a hundred feet to get it all in. Maybe next time we'll get some better ones.